Going through separation is one of the toughest phases for a couple. The complication worsens when a child is involved. With the kidsafterseparation website there are various tips that are available to help children cope with the stress involved with their parent’s separation. As a parent it is normal to go through various emotions; however the advantage for adults is that they can speak about it. Children do not really know how to express themselves and that makes the coping and recovery process a lot more difficult.
The consultants at kids after separation help support the children while the divorce procedures are on. It is important for both parents to take care of their children’s needs before sorting out the other formalities of the divorce. There are various permutations and combinations when a child is involved in a divorce. There can be a case of shared custody, full custody for either parent, custody to a relative or a guardian if both parents are deemed unfit to raise a child or custody to the state if there are no options left for a child’s custody.
One of the most important things is listening to your child’s needs during the divorce procedure. The child has to learn to get accustomed to the new circumstances and they need to be assured that both parents will be available for their support. Ex couples should also maintain cordial relationships with each other after a divorce to keep the mental capability of a child stable. The counselors at kidsafterseparation have come up with a few basic needs after years of experience in this field. Some of the needs that need to be met at the time of divorce are:
- Assurance from both parents that they will stay in touch. This can be via phone calls, letters or emails. If the court permits even the occasional visits can be put in.
- Parents need to make the child feel loved. They should in no way be held responsible for the separation.
- If the separation is due to the child, speak to the child and get the matter resolved rather than taking the drastic step of divorce.
- Don’t make the child take sides or say derogatory things about the other parent to the child. Please remember that you may have stopped loving your spouse however your child loves you both equally.
- If there is any message that needs to be passed to the other parent, please do so directly rather than passing it through the child.
Kids after separation always suggests that parents communicate with their children. This helps you understand what your child is going through and it becomes easy for you to deal with them. Children can get demanding and stubborn during a divorce, but the last thing you want to do is get upset with them. They are very emotional during this time and are often hurt by the smallest things. It upsets them that their parents will no longer be together and you need to be strong for them.
For a child coping with divorce when they have other problems to deal with at school, the stress can get to them. Keeping your child in the right frame of mind at all times always helps with the well being of the child. Always speak the truth with your child and keep them informed of all decisions that may affect them during the divorce procedure. Let them know exactly how things will be rather than sugar coating it. They will eventually come to know the harsh reality and may not be able to cope with it then.